The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

By 118k votes 8.7k voters 2.3M views 99 items tags f p @
The subreddit /r/Showerthoughts is full of brilliant, concise insights thought up in that great, steamy thinktank: the shower. We (most of us) bathe in quiet solitude, with neither friends nor social media to entertain us lest we get our devices wet and ruin them. Amidst all that lathering and rinsing, the mind wanders, and for the duration of each shower, anything is possible.

 What do you think about during your most vulnerable moments? Space travel? The strange ways we use language? How cats have whisker-eyebrows and nobody really talks about it? This list collects the best of the Shower Thoughts subreddit – with credit to their original thinkers – for you to enjoy, ponder, and rank. Vote up the ones that make you be like, "Yeah. Yep." 
Collection Photo: user uploaded image
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  1. 1
    + 2,651
    - 476
    Saying "um" is the hum... 
	is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Saying "um" is the human equivalent to buffering. /u/AnxietyAttack2013

  2. 2
    + 3,077
    - 616
    If Bruce Willis dies from Viag... 
	is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard." /u/dr721

  3. 3
    + 1,519
    - 280
    Fish who are caught and releas... 
	is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. /u/brandonberry

  4. 4
    + 2,123
    - 444
    If mary had baby jesus, and je... 
	is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If mary had baby jesus, and jesus is the lamb of god.... Then mary really did have a little lamb. /u/Indian_of_legend

  5. 5
    + 1,566
    - 302
    When you're a kid, dick jo... 
	is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    When you're a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you're an adult, they're considered immature. /u/kraken_calamari

  6. 6
    + 2,183
    - 473
    A group of squid should be cal... 
	is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    A group of squid should be called a squad. Thediepend

  7. 7
    + 1,766
    - 364
    If the oldest person on earth ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If the oldest person on earth is 116 years old, then 117 years ago, there was a completely different set of human beings on earth. /u/LordofSloths

  8. 8
    + 2,111
    - 465
    I bet attractive people think ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is. /u/shicky536

  9. 9
    + 1,982
    - 431
    History classes are only going... 
	is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on. /u/RealDirtyDan

  10. 10
    + 1,184
    - 219
    Cars should have two horns: on... 
	is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Cars should have two horns: one is a "nice" one, the other is a "mean" one. /u/DDYLK

  11. 11
    + 2,094
    - 464
    I wonder how many times I've w... 
	is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    I wonder how many times I've walked past or come into contact with a murderer. /u/KnibbHighFB

  12. 12
    + 1,164
    - 216
    Let's take a moment to appreci... 
	is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Let's take a moment to appreciate that mother nature not only pre-sliced but also pre-wrapped oranges. /u/Steel_Ninja

  13. 13
    + 2,293
    - 520
    "Strap-on" spelled bac... 
	is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    "Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts." /u/Illuminaughty66

  14. 14
    + 1,462
    - 297
    Everyone actually has 3 voices... 
	is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Everyone actually has 3 voices, the one in your head, the one you hear when you talk and the one that everyone else hears instead. /u/stillegal

  15. 15
    + 1,753
    - 378
    Most of my clothes have been t... 
	is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Most of my clothes have been to countries that I have not. /u/zerophaze

  16. 16
    + 1,990
    - 443
    I have no idea what I've forgo... 
	is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    I have no idea what I've forgotten. /u/philly_jay

  17. 17
    + 1,747
    - 377
    Getting birthday money is the ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Getting birthday money is the real life equivalent of passing 'go' and collecting $200. /u/Angry_Spacepimp

  18. 18
    + 1,711
    - 368
    The reason "cheaters never... 
	is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    The reason "cheaters never win" is because the cheaters that did win didn't get caught. /u/RocketHopper

  19. 19
    + 1,652
    - 355
    Why do people say "tuna fi... 
	is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"? /u/KaptainH

  20. 20
    + 2,079
    - 476
    We rescue homeless animals and... 
	is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    We rescue homeless animals and shun homeless people. /u/NewMaterialOnly

  21. 21
    + 1,433
    - 303
    They should mark the last tiss... 
	is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    They should mark the last tissues in a box with red lines like they do with receipt paper. /u/sharkis

  22. 22
    + 1,280
    - 263
    Technically, it's impossib... 
	is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you "break your fast." /u/scadrafein

  23. 23
    + 1,474
    - 327
    Aliens invaded the Moon on Jul... 
	is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969. /u/pollenatedweasel

  24. 24
    + 1,387
    - 309
    If I'm lucky, my internal orga... 
	is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If I'm lucky, my internal organs will never see the light of day. /u/Strant

  25. 25
    + 1,102
    - 229
    The witches from "Sabrina&... 
	is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    The witches from "Sabrina" naming their cat Salem is like a Jewish family naming a cat Auschwitz /u/OldMikeyboy

  26. 26
    + 1,351
    - 304
    "my entire life has led up... 
	is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    "my entire life has led up to this moment" is always true. /u/NoIntroductionNeeded

  27. 27
    + 1,145
    - 250
    The person who would proof rea... 
	is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi. /u/PhantomDukie

  28. 28
    + 960
    - 195
    "Arms" is another word... 
	is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    "Arms" is another word for guns, and "guns" is another word for arms. /u/lemonsmcbob

  29. 29
    + 1,240
    - 283
    We say "hair" when ref... 
	is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    We say "hair" when referring to lots of it but we say "hairs" when referring to a few. /u/VoteBumblebee

  30. 30
    + 1,445
    - 351
    I will be the last person to d... 
	is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    I will be the last person to die in my lifetime. /u/myfajahas400children

  31. 31
    + 1,077
    - 243
    If Katniss and Peeta from Hung... 
	is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss. /u/beinagrind_i_skapnum

  32. 32
    + 839
    - 169
    If I were a serial killer I wo... 
	is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If I were a serial killer I would call myself "the suspense" so that the suspense would literally be killing people. /u/AhrmiintheUnseen

  33. 33
    + 967
    - 211
    Most people can eat the same b... 
	is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Most people can eat the same breakfast weeks in a row, without complaint. But the same dinner for weeks? Now, that's just insanity. /u/roessera

  34. 34
    + 1,031
    - 235
    Asking someone "where are ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Asking someone "where are you" is a recent thing. Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were. /u/saint1997

  35. 35
    + 992
    - 230
    "Squawks" said backwar... 
	is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    "Squawks" said backwards still sounds the same even though it's not a palindrome

  36. 36
    + 1,139
    - 279
    Mothers only get a day but sha... 
	is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week. /u/jmoney73

  37. 37
    + 1,127
    - 279
    Nothing is on fire, fire is on... 
	is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Nothing is on fire, fire is on things. /u/GuitarPerson159

  38. 38
    + 1,242
    - 322
    Google earth is good for findi... 
	is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Google earth is good for finding out which of your neighbors has a pool. /u/wtb2612

  39. 39
    + 893
    - 208
    If you did something like a bo... 
	is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If you did something like a boss, you'd probably just pay someone else to do it. /u/mcgeeb

  40. 40
    + 928
    - 220
    When you "bite down" o... 
	is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    When you "bite down" on something, you're actually "biting up" because you can't move your top jaw. /u/okspeck

  41. 41
    + 963
    - 237
    If people on a planet 65 milli... 
	is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see dinosaurs. /u/Rowhardorrowhome

  42. 42
    + 1,070
    - 277
    In order to fall asleep, you h... 
	is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep. /u/conesarecool

  43. 43
    + 1,173
    - 315
    If there's a "heavens ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If there's a "heavens no" and a "hell yea," why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"? /u/AlyxVeldin

  44. 44
    + 907
    - 225
    If Homer Simpson were a democr... 
	is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    If Homer Simpson were a democratic congressman from Springfield, Ohio, he'd be Homer Simpson (D-OH). /u/Nulono

  45. 45
    + 892
    - 220
    In the last 20 years, I won ov... 
	is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    In the last 20 years, I won over $7,300 by not buying a lottery ticket every day. /u/Nukemarine

  46. 46
    + 879
    - 219
    Once you have a phd, every mee... 
	is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Once you have a phd, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment. /u/Sland

  47. 47
    + 1,087
    - 293
    I wonder if I am closer to my ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    I wonder if I am closer to my death or my birth right now. /u/ohnowhyme

  48. 48
    + 678
    - 160
    Spacesuits are literally made ... 
	is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing /u/cyberk25

  49. 49
    + 829
    - 229
    When jogging, we put on specia... 
	is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something. /u/SoilworkFanatic

  50. 50
    + 697
    - 181
    The sinking of the titanic mus... 
	is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

    The sinking of the titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. /u/ElBretto

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