inventions The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever

Jacob Shelton
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List Rules Vote for the most 'Murican products ever

To some, being American means having the freedom to live your life, however you choose – hopefully within reason. But to others, being an American is all about the PERKS BABY! As the most important country in the world, we deserve to kick off our shoes and be a little lazy. After all, were we not the inventors of the Hawaiian shirt? Some might say that a thought like this would only come from someone with an inflated sense of ego, but those people are just jealous and they’re probably a Socialist, or some other kind of “ist” that doesn’t understand how badly we don’t want to sweep (or do anything, really) after a long day of being American. So in celebration of our freedom of choice, specifically the choice to sit on our hinders all day, we present you with this list of the laziest and most ‘Murican inventions ever.

There are a few things we love to do as Americans, and they exist in this order: eat barbecue, sleep, and watch robots do menial tasks that we could easily accomplish. The inventions on this list take those three preoccupations and recontextualize them to death, just the way we like it. If only someone would invent a robot that would carry us to work in a sleeping bag and feed us pizza while we typed, the world would be a perfect place. Until then, we’ll just have to lovingly gaze upon this list and dream of a better tomorrow.

Vote up the inventions below that are the most ‘Murican, and if you’ve invented something that you think can make us dumber, lazier, or fatter – tell us all about it in the comment section!
1

The Clapper, Because Who Has Time to Flip a Switch?


The Clapper, Because Who Has T... 
    is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
2

The Segway, When Walking Is Just Too Much


The Segway, When Walking Is Ju... 
    is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
3

The Baby Mop, for Parents Who Think It's Time for Baby to Start Doing Chores


The Baby Mop, for Parents Who ... 
    is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
4

The Roomba: A Maid You Don't Have to Speak To!


The Roomba: A Maid You Don'... 
    is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
5

Remote Control/Beer Bottle Opener, Because Men Don't Have It Easy Enough


Remote Control/Beer Bottle Ope... 
    is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
6

Sauce Dispensing Chop Sticks, for When You Want to Feel Fancy and Lazy


Sauce Dispensing Chop Sticks, ... 
    is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
7

The Butter Stick, You Might As Well Order a Coffin, Too


The Butter Stick, You Might As... 
    is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image
8

This Tablet Stand Is Perfect for All the Hands Free "Reading" You'll Be Doing


This Tablet Stand Is Perfect f... 
    is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Most 'Murican Inventions Ever
Photo: user uploaded image